Today’s post is a big different than normal (and it’s corny) because…..Happy 45th Anniversary to my PARENTS!! Holy cow. I can’t believe they’ve been married that long. 45 years is a long time lol.
Like any couple, my parents argue and fight, but clearly they had to have some good pieces of love & marriage advice for making it last 45 years, right?!
I was on the phone with them both separately the day before this published and it was cute to hear what each had planned for the other for their anniversary. I was even on the phone with my mom when my dad came home from work to see she had made her famous Shepherd’s Pie for him (it’s his favorite and takes hours for my mom ot make) and my mom was giggling because he was “so excited.”
I asked my parents to send me some of their tips for love and marriage and listed them below (spoiler… they’re super cute and totally reflect their personalities). Enjoy!
Mom’s Tips (sent as a mass note via text lol):
- Find someone as smart or smarter than you.
- Similar goals are important! What will your family look like? i.e. how many children do you want? Will you both work? Do you have similar ideas about raising your children? Will you attend a specific church?
- Do you laugh together? A sense of humor is important to get you through the hard times.
- Can you count on your mate for support during the good and bad times?
- Do you respect your mate? Once the bloom of new love has faded, do you trust and respect him or her?
- Money can divide many couples. Talk about finances before you move in together or before you get married.
- The more you can iron out your differences, the better your marriage will be. Compromise, compromise, compromise! Think about the other person and their feelings before you speak.
- NEVER GIVE UP! Too many people throw in the towel when things get tough. A good marriage is hard work. Take a deep breath and realize that this is real life and there are many ups and downs. What seems like a deal breaker today will usually turn around tomorrow. Even if it doesn’t, you can learn lessons from adversity. Become a more compassionate person. Remember why you married this person in the first place.
- Be honest and try to communicate your feelings. This is probably the hardest thing to do. The more you know each other the better off you will be. If you feel stuck, get professional help! There is no shame in therapy.
Dad’s Tips (given to me over the phone lol):
- Eventually, you’ll begin to learn the “peculiarities” of your spouse, and you’ll also need to learn how to deal with them…and you do that because you love them
- Learn from each other – “I better clean the kitchen because that will make her happy” (haha)
- Willingness to talk things out
- Ensuring your kids get along pretty well
- “Watching the success of the next generation is pretty fun to share”
- “Taking joy in the next generation is pretty cool”
I thought it was funny how their personalities showed so clearly when I asked them to send over these tips. My mom took the time to type it out (like I asked) and send it over weeks in advance, and I had to call my dad the day before this published to get him to do it… and his responses were all short and to the point.
I loved how my mom used the word “mate”…probably because she was trying to be politically correct 🙂 And that she said to find someone smarter than you… because my dad has his Masters from Stanford haha.
I also KNEW that my dad would say something about having fun in watching the next generation grow. My sisters are 14 and 16 years older than me, and apparently it was my dad’s idea to have another kid (AKA me) years later. He also became a high school teacher after he retired, so he’s always loved making an impact on the next generation.
Anyways, thought this was just a cute post to share 🙂